Barack and The Kenyan Weed Affair

Beneath the Spin * Eric L. Wattree

Barack and The Kenyan Weed Affair

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There’s so much ugliness going on in the world, and so many heavy issues going on in my personal life, I needed a break. So after seeing a photo of Rick Perry in a meeting with President Obama where Perry seems to be pouting like a child, it was so hilarious that I decided to build a purely fictional scenario around it to take my mind off things. So again, this story is completely fictional, it has no basis in either fact or reality, and is intended as a spoof of some of the idiotic scenarios that people like Rush Limbaugh and the Fox News organization try to pass off to the American people as truth. In fact, I’m surprised they haven’t beat me to it.

Kevin,

Just between you and I, we get special reports in the hood about what’s going on in the White House, and according to those reports, the President just has one weakness - that damn Kenyan weed. It’s a throwback to when he was a kid. His relatives used to manage to get it in here to him when he was in college. And from what I understand, just before that meeting with Rick Perry, he got his hands on some, and I hear that shit is monstrous! Look at how everybody in the photo is grinnin.’ And from the look on Rick's face, he seems to be the only one who didn't get a hit - and the combination of that good Kenyan bush, and the look on Perry’s face, seems to have given the President a severe case of the "goofies." Personally, I think the President purposely bogarded. He just couldn’t bring himself to waste none of that good bush on Perry’s ignorant ass - and I don’t blame him.
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Now this may be an urban legend, but they tell me that Kenyan weed is twice as potent as any other weed in the world, because it’s grown in the wilderness and it has lion piss on it, and that seems to be substantiated by the President’s demeanor - the brother is crackin’ up! Similarly, the expression on Rick Perry’s face seems to suggest that he knows he missed out on something fabulous, because I’m sure the contact alone had Perry giddy and squirming in his seat just for one hit, but obviously, the President wasn’t having it.
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You see, Texas is right there on the Mexican border, so Perry knows some premo weed when he smells it. That Mexican weed been pissed on too, by coyotes - and coyote piss ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at either. And bein’ a Texan, Rick Perry knows his piss. But the most potent pissin’ coyote in the wilderness don’t hold a candle to lion piss, and Rick Perry knows that, that’s why he couldn’t wait to wrap his lips around that good, Kenyan weed. From what I understand, just the contact from that Kenyan shit will make the hairs fall out your nose, because a lion has some powerful piss. You can damn near start a Corvette with a gallon of lion piss. So that Kenyan weed is powerful! Check out the President - that shit got him crackin’ up!!! And another thing, when was the last time you saw a Kenyan that wasn’t smilin’?
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Now, I’m not going to tell you how I obtained these pictures, because they’re Top Secret, but I will tell you this - they are right out of the Secret Service files. So if you think I’m lyin’ about how bad this Kenyan shit is, check this out. This is a picture the President took right after the meeting:
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And if you think that’s something, check him out here - he completely took it to the next level. I couldn’t get my hands on the one where they said that shit had him thinkin’ he was Spider Man, but they tell me he was tryin’ to climb up the side of the White House wall, and then kept looking at his hands, tryin’ to figure out why his web wasn’t workin.’
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And a whole 5 hours later he went to a late afternoon lunch with Al Sharpton. Here he is gettin’ his grub on. That lion piss had him attackin’ that grub like a starvin’ werewolf. He scared the hell out of Al! Al said, "I was just hopin’ he got full, because I made up my mind that if he started lookin’ up at me I was gone haul ass. I ain’t never seen nothin’ like it - the brother was grubbin’ like a man who’d been stranded at sea for two weeks.
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So, like I said, that shit is bad. So bad, in fact, that the Secret Service added a special detail to make absolutely SURE the President couldn’t get his hands on nothing else that any lion, or anything else, might have pissed on. You know how you White folks are. You go overboard on everything. So once they made the connection between the weed and the lion piss, they forgot all about the weed - they're used to people gettin' wasted in the White House; George Washington even had a plant or two at Mt. Vernon - they started focusing on the piss. Now they’ve gone on a mission to make sure that the President doesn’t consume anything that might have been pissed on.
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That's right - they done made piss a national security issue. They even had a Hazmet detail wearing those white jumpsuits sniffin’ the collard greens in the White House galley. I guess they figure if lion piss can make the President trip-out like he did, God forbid what might happen if some crack-smokin', socialist hood rat piss on the presidential collard greens!   So now they’re growing ALL White House vegetables in a $22 million, specially constructed, hydroponic garden with round the clock guards, just because the President got ahold of some good weed. No wonder the poor people are starvin’ to death!  
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In addition, they put out a special memo to everybody on the White House staff that said, in no uncertain terms, that anybody who sneaks anymore of that shit into the White House is gonna be dragged down to the basement, and the Pentagon is gonna send in a special team of Navy Seals just to kick their Black ass. Then they’re gonna send ‘em to Guantanamo Bay and let ‘em chill a few months with Adul the Booty Bomber. But after giving it some consideration they thought better of it, and redacted the "Black ass" part. But it was clear who they suspected of gettin’ the President high. Things never change. It’s always us. How do they know some White, weed-smokin’ attache from the State Department didn’t bring that shit in? 
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But when all is said in done, I’d just like to know one thing. What pissed on that shit that Bush and Cheney was smokin - it must have been something we thought was extinct, or maybe it was the Koch brothers.
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So those are the facts - at least, according to the hood rat grapevine. But I’ve got to run, my man - I promised to take my woman to the zoo.  By the way, you wouldn't happen to have a bucket around here somewhere, would you?   
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Eric L. Wattree
Http://wattree.blogspot.com
Ewattree@Gmail.com
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Citizens Against Reckless Middle-Class Abuse (CARMA) .
Religious bigotry: It's not that I hate everyone who doesn't look, think, and act like me - it's just that God does.

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The GOP: A DEMON’S DELIGHT

BENEATH THE SPIN • ERIC L. WATTREE

The GOP:
A DEMON’S DELIGHT

Satan is busy preparing a special place
in Hell for his children.
Paul Ryan, Pat Robertson, the GOP,
his children all, 
and they’ve spread his dominion
across the Earth.
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Yes, Lucifer is dancing on searing,

and red-hot embers as he watch

his loyal children corrupting
the name of the Lord,
and turning his words
of love into instruments of hate.
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Listen carefully
and you can hear the dark moans
of erotic ecstasy as Satan looks upon
his children sitting in church, and
impersonating angels of God,
while faithfully harboring Satan's
spirit of hatred, hubris, and greed.
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Yes, these are his children, all -
the children of Hell,
and they’ve done their job well;
they’ve starved the homeless,
slaughtered the weak, in the millions,
and demonized the good.
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Yes indeed, they’ve served 
their father well,
and they’ve brought him
many grandchildren.
So like any proud father,
Beelzebub just can’t wait
to welcome them home.
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. . . and I can't wait for the
reunion.




Eric L. Wattree

Http://wattree.blogspot.com
Ewattree@Gmail.com
Citizens Against Reckless Middle-Class Abuse (CARMA)

Religious bigotry:
It's not that I hate everyone who doesn't look, think, and act like me -

it's just that God does.

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Scott Walker Recall: A Referendum on American Democracy

Beneath the Spin * Eric L. Wattree

Scott Walker Recall: A Referendum on American Democracy

The effort to recall Gov. Scott Walker in tomorrow’s Wisconsin election will undoubtedly have repercussions far beyond the boundaries of the state. Walker has come to be seen as the point man in the GOP’s concerted assault on the American middle class. All across the country GOP governors and Republican-controlled legislatures have launched aggressive campaigns to obstruct voting, bust unions, make draconian cuts to the police, fire departments, education, and social programs, all in the name of deficit reduction, only to use the resulting revenue to give huge tax cuts to large corporations and the top 1% of the population.
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In August of 2011 ThinkProgress.org reported that Walker turned away more than $9 million in grants from the Affordable Care Act. The funds were intended to address the state’s problems with drug and alcohol abuse, assessing the impact of public policies on the health of its citizens, and for signing up residents who qualify for state health programs. According to the article, health commissioners were "outraged." Reportedly, Walker indicated that the funds "duplicated existing efforts." This, in spite of the fact that Walker had "slashed $500 million from Department of Health Services and instituted a $1.6 billion reduction in public school funding." In addition, "Wisconsin is also near the very bottom of states for public health funding, ranking 49th in the nation for state funding of prevention services per capita."
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And according to an article in "Labor Notes" written by Eleni Schirmer and Lenora Hanson,"When Walker entered office in January 2011, the state had a budget surplus of more than $120 million. Walker made quick work of creating a budget crisis, allocating $140 million in corporate tax write-offs and giveaways during his first weeks in office." Thus, the GOP’s ostensible concern over the deficit appears to be nothing more than a pretext to redirect funds to corporations, the top 1% of the population, and to make absolutely certain that the poor and middle class remain miserable, angry, and divided until after the next election.
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Did I say this is a concerted effort on the part of the GOP? Absolutely.
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The Republican Party has done everything in their power to ensure that the American people remain miserable, divided, and angry until the 2012 election every since Rush Limbaugh gave them their marching orders early in Obama’s presidency. Limbaugh said, "I don't want this to work . . . I hope he [Obama] fails." And the Republicans have been on a single-minded mission to ensure Obama’s failure every since - which also means America’s failure. Thus, the GOP has, literally, been on a mission to sabotage America.
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From the moment Rush Limbaugh gave the Republican Party their marching orders, every initiative that President Obama has put forward to improve the economy and create new jobs has been met with fierce Republican opposition. They could care less that America is suffering. In fact, they want America to suffer - the more the better. All the GOP cares about is making absolutely sure that President Obama doesn’t succeed in bringing relief to the misery they caused the American people under eight years of George W. Bush..To that end, the Republicans in congress have engaged in a record number of filibusters in an attempt to block every initiative that Obama has put forward to rescue the American people. Their determination is so fierce in that regard that any Republican who fails to go along with their strategy is in dire jeopardy of being banished from congress. The attack on Utah Republican Orrin Hatch, who has spent 36 years in the U.S. Senate, is clear warning to all others who fail to fall in line.
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And even those initiatives that did manage to miraculously survive were being blocked from implementation by Republican Governors across the country, under the pretense that rescuing America constituted "wasteful spending." But their concern over the budget deficit didn’t prevent Republicans for a minute from holding the unemployed hostage to extend the Bush tax cut for the rich which, to a large extent, is what brought us to this point in the first place
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The Houston Chronicle reported Texas governor, Rick Perry, as saying the following regarding federal money allocated for Texas to assist the unemployed:
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"The money would come with too many strings attached. Taking the half billion would require the state to assist qualified out-of-work residents seeking part-time jobs, an idea that Perry said the state has rejected before, partly because it could discourage them from seeking full-time employment. The federal money injection would also make Texas extend benefits to more low-paid workers, and Perry said the overall expansion would force business to make higher unemployment insurance payments."
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Perry neglected to point out that the money would also be used by the unemployed to purchase goods and services. That would stimulate the economy, and the Republicans can’t have that. Yet, after initially turning down federal money targeted at creating jobs, Perry eventually took the stimulus money. But instead of using it to create jobs and bring relief to the poor and middle class, he used it to plug his budget shortfalls and save his "rainy day fund." CNN Money reports the following:
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"Texas, which crafts a budget every two years, was facing a $6.6 billion shortfall for its 2010-2011 fiscal years. It plugged nearly all of that deficit with $6.4 billion in Recovery Act money, allowing it to leave its $9.1 billion rainy day fund untouched . . . Now that the stimulus money has dried up, state lawmakers last week unveiled an austere budget for the 2012-2013 fiscal years that cuts $31 billion in spending. Schools, colleges, Medicaid and social services for the needy will be hit especially hard."
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So while Gov. Rick Perry of Texas has undoubtedly done his part to promote the GOP obstructionist agenda, in terms of symbolism he pales in comparison to Scott Walker. Walker’s shamelessly blatant assault on the rights and livelihood of the poor and middle class makes him the walking, breathing, embodiment of the Republican effort to lower the standard of living of working-class America. That’s what makes it essential that he’s recalled in tomorrow’s election. He represents the GOP’s trial balloon. If Walker survives, the Republican assault on the rights and livelihood of the working class will go into high gear all across America.

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Related Article:
THE GOP: A ONE HUNDRED YEAR RECORD OF SWINDLING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

Eric L. Wattree wattree

Http://wattree.blogspot.com
Ewattree@Gmail.com
.
Religious bigotry: It's not that I hate everyone who doesn't look, think, and act like me - it's just that God does.

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