I RESPECT AFRICA AS THE CRADLE OF MY CULTURE, BUT MY ANCESTRAL HOMELAND IS WATTS

Beneath the Spin*Eric L. Wattree

EFFICIENT THOUGHT IS THE KEY TO BLACK EQUALITY

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I RESPECT AFRICA AS THE CRADLE OF MY CULTURE,

BUT MY ANCESTRAL HOMELAND IS WATTS

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I was recently in a discussion with an individual who insisted that in order to be a proud Black man I was required to love and embrace Africa. Now, I have no problem with Africa, the problem I have is with that narrow-minded point of view. I'm a realist. I don't believe in either group-thought, litmus tests, or caving in to the beliefs of others just to be a part of a tribalist knitting circle. All Black people don't think alike - and thank God, because it's the uniqueness of our varied intellectual perceptions that contribute to our greatness as a people. So the fact is, while I take great pride in my African heritage, I recognize that in the final
analysis, that's all it is – my heritage, not my identity.
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So, I am sick to death of some of our people trying to force their delusional ideologies down our throats about the meaning of Black pride as though it's some sort of cultural gospel - and it always seems to be the most undereducated among us who tend to spew that delusional nonsense. It's a form of street-corner religion and just as clueless. They're the flip side of the Trump crowd, who have a tendency to do more feeling than they do thinking. So, while I fully understand that no one man corners the market on either knowledge, wisdom, or intellect, I've concluded that we are in dire need of an alternative point of view about what it means to be a proud African-American, minus the tribalist bullshit.
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The truth is, Africa is just another name on the map to me. Yes, it's the cradle of my culture, and I appreciate that, but on a strictly personal level, I have no more connection with Africa than I do China. I have more of a personal connection to the Los Angeles General Hospital where I was born than I do Africa, but I don't love it either. It's just a hospital, and I don't love buildings any more than I do plots of land.
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The people who like to spew this theory of African homage like to call themselves "woke". But the fact is, they're anything but. They're so desperate to escape the shame of slavery in their past that instead of exploring what it really means to be a proud African-American they're scouring the world in search of a false identity.  Some of these people are so desperate to redefine themselves that they'll hear one speech by Farrakhan and the very next day show up in a bow tie. That's neither independent thought, nor Black pride - that's gullibility, and the tendency to delude themselves into trying to be something they're not. In addition, any man who is willing to give another man's ability to think priority over his own is a weak-minded fool, and a group of fools do not provide a strong foundation for a proud and illustrious people. 
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We don’t need one voice and one intellect speaking for millions, we need millions of intellects speaking with one voice. That's what makes a people great. Following the thoughts of one man limits our intellectual potential. Since we all have unique and varied experiences, we all have unique areas of brilliance and unique perceptions into reality. So, we shouldn't waste that valuable resource by following the limited perceptions of one man. There's no such thing as a "Godologist", so we should all use the common sense bestowed upon us by God to become teachers as well as students. We should all learn from one another. So, any preacher, potentate, or so-called "leader" who thinks he's been chosen to speak for God is not only arrogant, but deluded.
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So, I'm sorry if my attitude tends to offend some people, but it is what it is. Part of being an efficient thinker is not dealing in bullshit, so I’m not about to

diminish myself by trying to lie, or getting all misty-eyed over Africa just to make some dashiki-clad ideologue happy - a person who in all probability has taken on an African name and has completely skipped over the sacrifices of our slave ancestors as though they are something that we should hide in shame - so, who's the one who is brainwashed?  I love my African-American heritage, while they've been brainwashed into being ashamed of who they are - and let there be no doubt about it, they're definitely a product of slavery, regardless to how exotic-sounding the new name they choose to give themselves. Are they ashamed of Frederick Douglass as well? Look in that brother's eyes and tell me what it is that they're ashamed of.
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We're deluding ourselves by looking to Africa for our heroes. Douglass is the kind of brother we should be honoring. If we did, maybe we'd take more pride in who we are as African-Americans and do more to repair the Black community. Douglass, an escaped slave, stood before America eight years BEFORE the Civil War – during a time when they would lynch a Black man for just looking them in the eye – and said the following:
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“What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July?

I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass-fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy-a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages.”

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Douglass also encouraged President Abraham Lincoln to establish the 54th Regiment Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry, a Black unit during the Civil War that was organized for the specific purpose of exacting payback for slavery, and his two sons were its first recruits. So why do we feel the need to reach all the way back to Africa for our heroes? I’ll tell you why, because many African-Americans suffer from a serious problem of self-esteem, and that, along with our failure to educate ourselves, are two of the primary dysfunctions that’s holding us down.
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I guarantee you there are going to be some Black people who are going to be intrigued by the title of this article, and then glance at it and say, “Oh, hell, naw. I don’t have time to read all that.”, and then move on to read a piece on twerkin’. That’s a major part of our problem.
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Far too many of us consider ignorance a moral obligation of our culture. Any attempt to free ourselves from ignorance is considered "uppity", or "tryin' to be White." The reason for that is during slavery the only slaves who spoke anything close to proper English were the house slaves, and many of them had a tendency to look down their noses at the slaves who worked the fields. As a result, to this day, many Black people have a hostility towards literacy and the pursuit of knowledge. They consider it "un-Black." Even the phrase "Stay woke" is a perversion of the English language, but they think it's cool, because it celebrates the sound of illiteracy, or what they consider being appropriately Black. That attitude is destroying our children, and the Black community as a whole, because it shuns the African-American's most valuable asset - our intellectual creativity.
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So, the fact is, I feel the way I feel, and I completely ignore the popular Black delusions about Africa. I consider it mindless dribble. I don't love any plot of land. I love people, not geography, and I don't know a soul in Africa, so what is it about Africa that I'm supposed to love, other than a fantasy and the need to compensate for a lack of self-esteem regarding what it means to be an African-American? Absolutely nothing.
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I’m not into fantasies. I deal in reality, but for some reason many of our people are into playing silly little closed-minded games - you know, the same kind of games the White man loves so passionately. Their attitude is, if you don’t look, think, and act like me there’s something wrong with you. That's what keeps us divided and unable to work together and move forward. It's also narrow minded and bigoted thinking that betrays their ignorance and limits their growth. So while they're talking Africa, they're thinking exactly like their White slave master taught them. Thus, I don't even like to waste my time with such ignorance. They’ll say things like, “If you don’t love Africa it's because you’ve been brainwashed by the White man. Every other culture loves their ancestral homeland, why don't you?” My response is simple - So do I, but my ancestral homeland is Watts.
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But because such people tend to be more ideological than thoughtful, what they don’t seem to understand is other cultures have a direct connection to the lands of their various cultures. They have love ones,

experiences, and memories of the land that forges a connection. But the African-American culture is a new culture that’s indigenous to the United States. We’ve had absolutely no connection to the continent of Africa for over 400 years. So, to claim to have a passionate love for Africa is just a flat-out lie designed to reap props in the hood. It's simply a form of "me too-ism" in a desperate attempt to be like other cultures.  If these people's passion for Africa wasn't a lie, more of them would be living there, but you couldn't even banish such people to Africa. As they were being transported back they'd be kickin' and screamin' bloody murder. So, the real difference between myself and people like this is, I don’t believe in lyin’ for props - I'm an African-American, I love living in America, and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. Period.
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I'm fully capable of being a strong and prideful Black man without lying about loving a place that I know absolutely nothing about, just like I can love God without caring anything about religion. So the fact that Africa is just another place on the map to me doesn’t make me any less Black, it simply means that I’m a strong, Black, African-American man who takes pride in my own cultural experience - slavery and all - and I don't indulge in delusional bullshit.
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Engaging in delusions about Africa like the one above is both a major

cause, and symptom, of Black dysfunction. First, it teaches us to be delusional and less than efficient thinkers, and secondly, it sends a subliminal message to our children that says there’s something inherently inferior about the African-American culture. It sends the message that we’re nothing more than tarnished and impure Africans, but that’s far from the case. In fact, African-Americans represent the evolution of the Black man. So, we need to take more pride in who WE are, not Shaka Zulu, or scouring the Earth looking for a sense of false identity. 
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Like any other species in nature that’s faced with overwhelming adversity that threatens their survival, nature steps in and provides them with the necessary capabilities to overcome that adversity, or to evolve. So, the fact is, the severe adversity of the African-American experience has caused us to evolve into MORE, rather than less.
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Having to deal with racism, injustice, and bigotry from the time we open our eyes in the morning until we close them at night has given us an intellectual muscularity. It's like spending every day at the gym - Every day, all day. It's given us the ability to deal with bigots while on autopilot and without even having to think about it. In my own case, it's gotten to the point where dealing with bigots has even become a form of recreation. So it’s simply up to us to recognize our ability, take pride in who we are, and begin to develop our evolving capabilities instead of wasting our time twerkin’, partying, and engaged in other frivolous pursuits. Because what we call, “soul” is nothing less than Black brilliance straining to set itself free.
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The White establishment recognized that fact when they had us in slavery. Initially, they brought us here from Africa to be mules, but it wasn’t long

before they began to recognize our astonishing intellectual creativity, and ever since that time the White establishment has tried to move Hell and Earth to keep that knowledge from us, and to also keep it in check. That, and Bacon's rebellion, is what ultimately led to all of the oppressive laws and traditions designed to “keep Black people in their place”.  Thus, racism is not based on hatred, it's based on fear.

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So, while it is always good to stay in touch with one's roots, the fact is, the African-American culture has long since ceased being purely African - even though the continent of Africa will always define the core of our being. But any connection that we may, or may not have had with Egypt, Nefertiti, and/or Cleopatra is tenuous and remote at best, at least, in a strictly cultural sense. It's as though we're going around, hat in hand, desperately searching for a piece of history to call our own. But we shouldn't place ourselves in that position – it's undignified, pathetic, and wholly unnecessary.
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We must begin to understand that we are a new culture. We ceased being Africans when it became necessary to adapt to the fields and ghettos of

America, and neither are we simply Americans - we became something more than simply Americans when it became essential that we become more than simple Americans for our very survival. We are a brand new culture - a culture conceived in pain, delivered into turmoil, baptized in deprivation, and weaned on injustice. And since adversity is experience, and experience translates into knowledge, we don't have a thing to be ashamed of. The uniquely pointed adversity that the African-American has experienced makes us more, rather than less. We are a culture that is only now in the infancy of its development. For that reason, we cannot hope to compete, lie-for-lie, with the more ancient cultures relative to history, since our history is only now being written. The African- American culture is a culture of the future, not the past, and for that very reason, we don't have to try to compete for historic greatness, because we're writing our history today.
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But the fact that we are a new culture doesn't mean that we are anything less than the older cultures; it simply means that our greatest contribution to man lies before us. So we don't have to look back to antiquity to find a source of pride, all we have to do is study the life and times of our parents, our grandparents, and that generation of African Americans born between the turn of the century and WWII.
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In less than 50 years, the Black people of that generation went from

housekeepers and flunkies to the boardrooms of multinational corporations. In less than 50 years, they went from playing washboards and tin cans on the side of the road, to becoming some of the greatest musicians the world has ever known. In less than 50 years these people have gone from the defenseless and nameless victims of public lynchings, to laying a foundation that led directly to Barack Obama becoming the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth - and that is a chapter in history that is verifiable.
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The most cursory glance demonstrates that there is something unusually unique about this new culture. While social scientists have indicated that all minority cultures must assimilate, dilute, and subordinate themselves to the dominant cultural soup, there is clear evidence that the African-American culture has had a much greater impact on the dominant culture than is the reverse.
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Members of the dominant cultural group under fifty years of age have more in common with the African-American culture in terms of attitudes, style, and personal taste, than they have with their own grandparents. Black music - Jazz, Blues, Rap, Gospel, and, yes, Rock n Roll - is the predominate music, not only in the United States, but in the entire world. Every time a Rock group steps on stage, they sing a tribute to nameless slaves moanin' in the fields - and just to turn on a radio or television set anywhere in the Western world, is to pay a tribute to Duke, Bird, Miles, and Diz.
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In addition, the United States of America has honored only four men in history by declaring the day of their birth a national day of celebration -

Jesus Christ of Nazareth, widely accepted by many as the father of all mankind; President George Washington, the father of this nation; Christopher Columbus, the man credited with discovering the Americas (along with the native Americans who were already a part thereof); and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., a man whose forebears were brought to these shores in chains.
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That says a lot about that humble black man - and it says just as much about his people. In spite of the fact that Dr. King began his life burdened by the inherent disadvantages of being blessed with black skin in a Jim Crow environment, his words, his intellect, and his deeds so inspired the heart and soul of humanity that America saw fit to set aside a day for this nation - this world - to thank God that he was allowed to walk among us. His was a soul with such strength that it served to lift the rest of mankind to a higher level of humanity. That's not only a testament to one black man's ability to pull himself from the dust of his humble beginnings, it's also a testament to the capacity of his people to meet the test of greatness - and that's a history that is verifiable.
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And we must also take pride in our own personal journeys, and realize that in our own journey through life, history is also being made. You don't have to be a world conqueror to have an impact on the history of mankind; you simply have to make decisions in your personal life that helps to enhance and move your people forward towards their appointment with destiny - and every time you face life's obstacles with courage and perseverance, you meet that challenge. After all, you don't make decisions in a vacuum - every decision that you make in life becomes a public decision. People are watching, your children are watching, and if you nurture your children properly, they will make the character of your decisions an indelible part of the public record.
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Thus, the character that you reflect in your daily conduct carries the seed that your children will carry with them for generations. For that reason, I don't regret one moment of my youth that I spent stumblin' through Watts on whatever drug happened to be convenient. Those years were part of a personal journey that stands as a monument to who I am today. Of course, I related those struggles to my children as stumbling blocks to be avoided at all costs, but they were also related as examples of perseverance, and the determination to overcome the obstacles in my life, and by overcoming those setbacks, it allowed me to relate those experiences with just as much pride as the White culture relates the experiences of General Patton to their children. George fought his battles, and I fought mine, and as far as my children are concerned - as far as I'm concern - one was no less heroic than the other.
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So I don't let others dictate to me what I'm OBLIGATED to think in order to prove who I am. That's group-think, and group-think is not thought at all, it's a sheepish accommodation to the beliefs of others. So, anyone who resent the fact that I don’t think like they do can go to hell.  I have better things to focus on, like how am I gonna move forward right here, and right now. I consider anything else a petty and frivolous waste of brain power.
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Some people tell me that if I don’t know anything about Africa, I should take the time to become informed. My response to that is, why?  I'm not an anthropologist. I'll leave that to people who are interested in such things. We only have so many seconds here on Earth. How is wasting those seconds learning about Africa going to benefit me when I can spend that time learning more about math, physical science, or epistemology? I could become the world’s greatest authority on Africa and still be on my ass. On the other hand, if I put that time into becoming the world’s greatest mathematician, that’ll get the world’s attention.

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I tried to get that point across to many of my brothers when we were in college. They simply wanted to get a degree, any degree, but I already had a young family, so I was there to gain useful knowledge. So, when they asked me why I wasn’t taking classes in Afro-American history (a quick and easy way to gain credits), I told them that struttin’ around in a dashiki spewing tales of the illustrious history of the African diaspora may make them superstars in the hood, but in the long run it’s only gonna lead to making them the most enlightened brothers in the welfare line, and my prediction turned out to be right on the money.
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So, while taking pride in our heritage is undoubtedly a good thing, the realities of survival in American society makes practicality a far superior pursuit. But due to our natural tendency to be entertainers, and our need to impress upon others the pride we take in being Black, many in the Black community have yet to recognize that fact, and that’s why we’re struggling.
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Black pride is not about lip-service regarding how much we love Africa or subject to any other kind of litmus test, it’s about intellectual development, independence of thought, and the confidence and strength of character to be your own man and avoid feeling the need to cater or kowtow to the beliefs of others – Black or White.
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Thus, what it means to be a strong Black man is having the insight to understand the importance of knowledge, the strength and independence of thought to become your own hero, and the confidence to never allow anyone to remove your cape.
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Neither scholar nor the head of state,

The most common of men seems to be my fate;
A life blistered with struggle and constant need,
As my legacy to man I bequeath my seed.
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More fertile, more sturdy these ones than I,
This withered old vine left fallow and dry;
The nectar of their roots lie dormant still,
But through their fruit I'll be revealed.
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And that, is verifiable.

Eric L. Wattree

Http://wattree.blogspot.com
Ewattree@Gmail.com
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BLACK WRITERS, INTELLECTUALS, AND INDEPENDENT THINKERS
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Religion: It's not that I hate everyone who doesn't look, think, and act like me - it's just that God does. 

Sphere: Related Content

DID THE WHITE MAN DESTROY THE BLACK FAMILY, OR DID WE HAVE A HAND IN IT?

Beneath the Spin*Eric L. Wattree

DID THE WHITE MAN DESTROY THE BLACK FAMILY, OR DID WE HAVE A HAND IN IT?

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A HOME IN WATTS

When I was a kid growing up in the Los Angeles area called Watts, we lived large. That was in my pre-political days, so I didn’t even know there was a race problem, because we lived in our area, and the White folks lived a few blocks across Alameda in theirs, and we rarely came into contact with one another. The only time I even saw White kids was when I was watching Sheriff John or the Mickey Mouse Club on television.
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My grandparents owned three homes in their lifetime, and my grandfather worked around the corner from our house at Berg’s Pipe and Steel.  He worked so close to our home that he used to come home for lunch every single day.  During those days there was nothing I didn’t have, and the family rode around in a brand new car. The neighborhood seemed to be solid middle class, and all of my friends had a mother and father in the home. When I first heard the word “ghetto” I wondered what the hell they were talking about. I thought the only difference between Black people and White people was that White folks looked funny, like they’d been dipped in bleach. But all that began to change in 1965 after the Watts riots.  I didn’t even know what the riots were about, because all the people I knew were living well.
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But I was recently sent a very insightful video where a Black psychologist alleged that the White man was responsible for the deterioration of the Black family. Now, I don't think that the brother was purposely lying, because as I said, most of the video was very insightful, and the brother seemed very learned and credible. But in this instance I think his assessment was inaccurate, and while I'm not one to defend the White man, I'm a firm believer in following truth wherever it leads and regardless to whose ox it gores, because in order to move forward we must base our assessments on truth - and the truth is, while the White man undoubtedly controls most things in this White supremacist society, he cannot control our character. So there are some things that we have to take responsibility for ourselves, and this is one of them.

What caused the deterioration of the Black family was Black people themselves. It wasn’t the White man who caused the deterioration of the Black family, it was integration. The Black family survived slavery, the Great Depression, and Jim Crow, so why is it falling apart now?  I'll tell you why, because once Black people were given the opportunity to get the best jobs and date White women, many brothers went crazy. They started buying expensive cars, moved out of the neighborhood, and started flo-showin’ by driving through the community with White blonds decorating their passenger seats. They also started treating sisters like they were second-class citizens who were only put on Earth to be used and abused - and we still see evidence of that today, with rappers runnin’ around callin’ sisters “bitches” and “hoes.” 
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Now I'm not saying that Black men shouldn't fall in love with White women and marry them - people should marry whoever becomes their soulmate - but these brothers didn't want to marry these women - they didn't want to marry anybody - they just wanted to use them as trophies to say, "Look what I got!" So it was all about ego, flo-showin', and gorging themselves on something they were once denied. They were like hungry kids in a candy store.
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It is that attitude that's killing both Black families, and the Black community, because it was sisters who used to keep brothers in check and forced them to become men. So it’s no accident that we now see forty-year-old males running around in tennis shoes and baseball caps like they’re still fifteen years old.  They can get away with that now, but back in the day, a brother couldn’t even get a date with a sister unless he brought some manhood to the table.  Now all he needs is a couple of joints and the price of a bottle of Hennessy. So sisters have caved in. Instead of forcing brothers to work and become real men in order to get them, they’ve become so desperate to get a man (make that a male) that they do whatever they have to do to get one - including selling themselves cheap.
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You see, sisters are not as prone to step outside of their race to find companionship as a brother.  Over the centuries sisters have been taught to remain loyal to Black men come hell or high water. As a result, they’ve made themselves so available that a brother no longer has to become a man to get what he wants. He can get all of the sex and companionship he needs for just a few kind words and a couple of joints, and, from a different woman every night. So why should he even think about becoming responsible or getting married and raising a family - he's already living the good life, and without any responsibilities.
.I wrote the piece below for a friend who was actually giving classes to sisters, teaching them how to satisfy their "men."  She was teaching sisters the best way to give head, and how to use their vaginal muscles to bring their deadbeats the most pleasure - and this was a dynamite sister who, if she became stingy enough, any real man would do a headstand just for the opportunity to kiss her. This situation clearly points out that the problem with single-parent households in the Black community is brought about by the fact that far too many sisters have lost their old-school value of self-worth, so ironically, most of their misery is being brought about by their predisposition to be loyal to Black men. So what's needed is for them to take a page from their grandmothers' book. They need to come together and make a man work to get them. If they did that, once a brother did get them, he'd be much more appreciative - sisters would be treated like the gold they are, and their man would work to make sure that no other man could turn their head.
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Black women are precious, and the most valuable asset that the Black man has ever had, but they're allowing Black men to forget that, so they must begin to recognize their value and remind these turkeys of what they have to lose. My late wife was an old-school sister. We were married for 34 years, and every day of those 34 years I had to prove that I was worth her holding on to. That’s the way our grandmothers worked it, and they had no problem with hanging on to their man.
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My grandfather use to come home every Friday after work and hand his uncashed paycheck over to

my grandmother. That’s why they were so prosperous and I was able to live such a carefree life. They had the money to allow me to live like any White kid, and in many cases, better - because my grandmother on my father's side lived directly across the street, and they use to compete to see who could spoil me the most. That’s why I don’t “know my place" to this day, because as far as I’m concerned, my place is on top, and White folks are just another group of people with straight hair.

ARE SISTERS TURNING BLACK MEN INTO BOYS WITH THEIR LIBERATED ATTITUDES TOWARD SEX
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Women talk to me all the time about how useless and irresponsible many men have become, which I pretty much agree with. But what women don’t seem to understand is the pivotal role that they're playing in bringing about their own frustration.

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Women have made casual sex far too readily available in our society, and that has resulted in two things that place them at a decided disadvantage. First, women have allowed sex to become so easy to obtain that men no longer have to become real men to get it. As a result, there’s no incentive for men to become responsible adults and father figures. That’s why you see forty-year-old men still living with their mamas and hanging out on the block wearing sideway-tilting baseball caps. That image doesn't lend itself to being a father figure or a good role model, but unlike in the past, they don’t have to be, because if they can come up with a couple of joints and a pint of gin they can get all the sex they can handle regardless to how dysfunctional they are as men. 
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Things were different in the past. As a rule, in order for our grandfathers to obtain sex during their generation, they had to prove their manhood, jump through a series of hoops, and wine and dine our grandmothers for months and even years - and in many cases, they even had to marry them first. But now all a young boy has to do is walk into a club with enough pocket change to buy a drink or two. That gives him no incentive whatsoever to become a responsible adult, and all the incentive in the world to continue hangin’ out in the clubs instead of focusing on what's going on around him and becoming a man.
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VALDIE WHITMORE-WATTREE

Women used to know how to handle their business. Even with my late wife, Val, while she wasn’t as stingy and strict as some of the ladies from the old school, when we were going together, even while secretly keeping in regular touch with my mother, she stopped speaking to me for an entire year until I caved in and adopted the kind of lifestyle that she approved of - and, thank God, she kept me jumping through one hoop after another until the night she died. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been capable of writing this article. She's been gone since 2005, but even today when I'm facing a challenge I can hear her whisper in my ear, "You can do this, Eric."  So in a very real sense, this article represents a letter to sisters from Val's grave. If she were here she’d say, "Girl, what you have beneath your dress is the only leverage you have with these turkeys, so use it wisely" - and anyone who reads this article that knew Val could tell you, I’m not lyin’.
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The second way that the sexual mores of our society is hurting women is, even among the men who are responsible - and who are looking forward to starting families - they're finding it increasingly difficult to find the kind of woman who they feel comfortable about starting a family with.
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The problem is, women don't understand men, and the reverse is also true. That's why most men and women can only relate to one another on a sexual level. Men think that women are impressed by what THEY think is "cool," and women think that men are impressed by what a woman finds impressive in a man - swagger, confidence, and assertiveness. But both are wrong. In many cases, what men consider "cool," women consider silly and simply put up with. And most men don’t consider swagger and assertiveness attractive in a woman at all. Those qualities boils down to aggressiveness, and most men see that as a male characteristic, so why would a man find a woman who acts like a man attractive? Do women find men who act like women attractive? Not really. So the very same thing is true in the reverse. Men and women have different needs. So many times, when men and women try to impress one another they either turn each other off, or make fools of themselves. But of course, most men will put up with anything as long as it will lead to a woman opening her legs, and then get around the fellas and talk about like a dog thereafter - "Oh, yeah, I had a piece of that . . . "
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Let me give you an example. Many women think they can get a man by acting sensuous, sexually provocative, and assertive. In a sense, that’s true. A woman, any woman, can get a man that way, but only as a sex partner, not as her man. Because men classify women in three different categories. The first category is hoe, or someone to use instead of having to masturbate. The second category is sex partner and road dawg. Men like the women in this category as friends, someone to party with, and to have as a sex partner. Unlike the women in category one, men actually like and respect the women in category two women, but not enough to marry - that is, unless they fall in love by accident. Men generally choose a woman who is sexually stingy as a wife. The reason for that is quite simple, so he won't have to worry about her cheating once they become a couple.
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Men will die to protect their manhood. Nothing is more important to us, and there’s no greater assault on a man’s manhood than a cheating woman, because it sends a message that says two things - first, that he wasn’t man enough to keep her in line, and secondly, that the man she’s cheating with is more of a man than he is. So women should understand that if they ever get caught cheating, that’s it. The man may not leave you immediately, but from that point on, he’s just waiting for the right "lady" to come along so he can replace you.
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Men are not like many women, who'll forgive and move on with the simple assurance that it won't ever happen again, because you’ve assaulted his manhood, and that's an unforgivable offense. You've fallen off the pedestal that a man requires his woman to stand upon, so he'll never look at you in the same way again.  So generally speaking, the women that men like to party and have fun with, are not the women that they choose for a wife, because even though he may like them, they’re perceived as being much too casual in their sexuality.
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GRANDMAMA LEALER

When a man decides to marry - unless he falls in love with a category two woman by accident as a result of having repeated sex with her - he chooses a wife from a third category. These women are generally very protective of their sexuality, low-key, and feminine. Men not only feel that these women are more apt to be loyal, but there’s also a psychological component to it. Category three women are harder to get, and it’s human nature to want most what’s hardest to obtain. That’s why a Bentley is more valuable than a Ford. While both cars will get you where you want to go, a Bentley is more prestigious because it’s harder to obtain. The same is true of a woman. A man wants a woman that other men can't get, and once he gets such a woman, he not only gets uncorrupted sex, but also, a boost to his ego in knowing that he’s lying next to a woman that other men can’t have. He also knows that if she didn’t think he was special, she wouldn’t be lying next to him. That’s a huge boost to his sense of manhood, and 99% of a man’s sexual pleasure is mental, or ego driven. Thus, a man is not as interested in having a sex expert for a woman as he is having a woman who is loyal.
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On the other hand, many women do want a sex expert - or, at least, a man who has sense enough to consider her needs - because far too often in casual sexual encounters, women end up with men who are just interested in satisfying themselves, and then leave the woman hanging and sexually frustrated when they're done. So a woman wants a man that she knows has the sexual expertise to provide for her sexual needs. But a man doesn’t have to worry about that, because all he needs to obtain satisfaction is a warm, wet, vagina - any warm, wet, vagina.
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Thus, all a female sex expert means to a man is hoe. Because the assumption is, in order to obtain her sexual expertise, she had to have made herself available to a lot of men. Therefore, she doesn’t see him as special; he just happened to be in the right place at the right time - and if it wasn’t him, it would be someone else. Now don't get me wrong, he’ll PRETEND that the "expert" is rockin’ his world, and doing something for him that can’t be done by any woman with a warm and wet vagina, but that’s just to stroke the woman's ego so he can have sex with her whenever he feels the urge.
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So personally, I’d rather be with a woman who’s simply capable of enjoying the lust of the sexual experience than I would somebody who’s trying all kinds of techniques on me, any day. Because the "expert’s" head is not in the right place. I want a woman focused on how good SHE'S feeling, and fixated on that tingling sensation that’s building up within HER loins, not on how to contract her muscles to impress me with how good she is in bed. After all, a man’s biggest challenge is NOT to climax too soon, so why would he want somebody who’s gonna defeat that purpose? That’s also why men indulge in oral sex, because there is nothing sexier to us than a woman who’s out of her mind with lust and sexual passion. So if there’s any expert in the bed, I want to be the one.
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So when a woman starts talking sex to a man, or try to be overly sexy, she’s not doing herself a favor. All she's doing is ringing the dinner bell that brings out the predator in a man, but he automatically starts thinking in terms of fun and games with a woman of either category one or two. So just because a woman can get a man’s attention in that way - and any woman can - she shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking that she’s going to hold his attention. He’s just gorging himself on hamburger until he can find him a steak - a category three woman; wife material, or a woman who’s not gonna even consider the possibly of sex until he jumps through a lot of hoops to get there. She's the prize that most men are after.
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Now, I want to emphasize that I’m not advocating any position on this issue. If you’ll notice, the title of this article is a question, not an assertion. My intent is to simply give women insight into how the vast majority of men think. How do I know how most men think? Because from the time we're little boys we spent an inordinate amount of time discussing women and girls - like when Donald Trump was bragging to the fellas about grabbing women by the genitals. So whether or not what I'm saying is perceived as sexist is not my concern. I’m simply relating the truth - a truth that is common knowledge among most men, because when it comes to sex, and a man's exploitation of women, men are far from politically correct, unless they're trying to keep that SPECIAL WOMAN to themselves. You never hear a word about those women. But if a woman is just a casual "piece of ass," every brother he knows know about you, right up to how you act and/or beg when you're having an orgasm.  That's why "hoes" are generally so popular.
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While many women may consider what I’ve said here old fashion, men have assessed women in the same way since the beginning of time and across cultural boundaries, and it’s very unlikely to change anytime soon. But the problem with truth, and the primary reason that so many people object to it is, it doesn’t always conform to either ideology or fashion. It simply is what it is. So efficient thought requires that we ALWAYS give truth priority over ideology. But much too often we try to give ideology priority over truth. Then when truth comes into conflict with our ideology, we try to contort the truth to fit more comfortably into what we want to believe, and unfortunately, that's what many women do when it comes to the subject of sex - "Things have changed." No, when it comes to men and sex, things will never change.
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As a result of that tendency, modern women are living under the mass delusion that because their attitudes have changed, the attitudes of men have changed along with them, but they are horribly mistaken. You see, men simply pretend to have changed because it’s to our advantage. The modern female mind-set makes casual sex much more available, and we love it - I certainly do, because I’m just as predatory regarding sex as any other man. But that doesn’t mean that I’m so accommodating to that new mind-set that I want to marry the women that I’m having sex with - and I’m very comfortable in saying that MOST men feel the same way - and that’s a major contributor to the dysfunction of the modern family structure, which is the point of this article.
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I want to emphasize that I'm not suggesting that women should remain celibate until marriage, but I'm sure many women are going to read that into it. I'm simply saying that men prefer women who are "protective" of their sexuality, and women need to understand that, regardless to what a man may say.  Women need to keep in mind that a man will say anything, and take any position, that allows sex to be readily available. But if you want to see a man’s true attitude toward female sexuality, all you have to do is even suggest that his mother or daughter is less than protective of their sexuality. You’ll end up with an extremely hostile individual on your hands. Thus, a man's attitude toward sex is very complex - while we love it being easily available, we don't want the women in our lives involved in contributing to the ease of availability.
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So the bottom line is, the new female mindset towards sex not only creates a disincentive for men to step up to the plate to become responsible husbands and fathers, but once they are husbands and fathers, the attitude of many women outside of the marriage creates constant pressure for men to cheat. Thus, the attitude of the modern women regarding casual sex often serves to create the very Hell that many women often complain about.
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Think about it. What incentive does a man have to limit his sex life and take on the responsibility of settling down with one woman when he can have all the sex that he can handle - with multiple women - and without having to take on any responsibility at all? Not much. And what cultural incentive does a married man have to remain faithful? Again, not much. So I'm not advocating that women reverse their newfound sexual freedom, but rather, to consider carefully how that freedom is used, because every male you come into contact with certainly is. So while I'm not advocating any position, I am suggesting that women learn the rules of the game and not allow themselves to be played, because having that knowledge gives women options on how they want to play the game.
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In that regard, what's important for every woman to remember is, while many women's attitude toward sex has changed tremendously over the years, men are still very old fashion when it comes to their woman - they have to be, because the way a man’s woman carries herself is reflective of his manhood - and that's very important to a man. While I know this may sound kinda old-school to contemporary women, with all of the sexual opportunities out there for your man, how you carry yourself may be the determining factor on whether or not your man is willing to make that extra effort to be the kind of man you want him to be. And women should also remember this - as old fashion as your grandmother was, she didn’t have any problem hanging on to her man.

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Love, Pain, Passion, and Lust

HER PAIN:
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She walks alone, sweet woman-child,
her sobs flow warm against the dark;
Her need is love, not merely passion,
a mighty fortress, her broken heart.
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Quivering bodies and breathless moans,
she remembers with great delight,
but the heat of love is the only flame,
her lusting soul craves late at night.
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Hungry arms yearn for her shuddering body,
to embrace her tenderly with all their might;
Shivering lips lust for her succulent passion,
as she cries out desperately into the night.
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But only true love can quench the thirst
that burns red hot, and deep inside,
so she faces the pain, again and again,
and late at night she cries.
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Masculine shadows of delusion and lust
caress their egos more than her pain,
for her convulsing body quivers not for them,
but for her fantasy
of a warm and gentle man.
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So, with head held high, by light of day,
but, mournful eyes, that do betray,
unspent love, and a breaking heart,
and the fear of sobs, when day turns dark.

HIS PASSION:
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She's dark, she’s passionate, and she's lovely,
but she doesn't know herself:
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She doesn't know
the extent her smiling eyes
devastate this love-sick heart;
The way they dance in the moonlight,
subtly beckon,
and betray the depth
of her sultry passion.
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She doesn't know
the ecstasy of pleading moans
on a humid, Summer night, or
the maddening pleasure of glistening bodies
entwined in erotic flight.
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And
She doesn't know
the hot breath of passion,
as it whispers between her thighs;
The gentle kiss, the sting of bliss,
the pain of pleasure
that burns inside.
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She doesn't know
the agony of lust
while suspended in endless time,
as she yearns for sweet release,
while desperately clinging to
the sweet sublime.
.
And
She doesn't know
of frantic begging
for that of which she's run,
of the animal that leaps inside of her,
as flowing chills
begin to come.
.
She doesn't know
the embrace of madness
as her trembling loins
begin to spill . . .
.
She
doesn't know of love,
but on this night,
her pleading eyes,
say she will.
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THEIR LOVE

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Love, Pain, Passion, and Lust

http://wattree.blogspot.com/2011/04/love-pain-passion-and-lust.html

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Eric L. Wattree
http://wattree.blogspot.com/
Ewattree@Gmail.com
Citizens Against Reckless Middle-Class Abuse (CARMA)
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Religious bigotry: It's not that I hate everyone who doesn't look, think, and act like me - it's just that God does.

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PEOPLE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THEY LIKE, BUT ONLY YOU CAN DEFINE YOUR WORTH - THE HOOD RAT .

Beneath the Spin * Eric L. Wattree

PEOPLE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THEY LIKE, BUT ONLY YOU CAN DEFINE YOUR WORTH - THE HOOD RAT
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BORN IN WATTS,

GREW UP IN THE PUEBLO DEL RIO PROJECTS,

WENT TO FREMONT HIGH SCHOOL - AND WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING.

KNOWLEDGE MAKES A MAN

UNFIT TO BE A SLAVE -

FREDERICK DOUGLASS

Early in life society labeled me a “hood rat.” I didn't like it at first, but what neither society, nor I, knew at the time was that they were doing me a tremendous favor, the very same kind of favor they did for Frederick Douglass when they labeled him a slave. The anger and humiliation that was heaped upon him had the impact of a slingshot; instead of holding him back, it only served to hurl him forward, and the label, hood rat, had the exact same impact on me.
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But I took a different tact than Douglass. While Douglass was determined to prove that he was nobody’s slave - and accomplished that mission with brilliant success - I fully embraced the term hood rat, because it's become my most fervent mission in life to rub it in their goddamn face.  I'll tell a bigot, “Yeah, I’m a hood rat. Now let’s discuss what that means regarding the relative value of you and I as individuals" - then it's show time.
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So at this point, I not only take great pride in being born in Watts and raised in the Pueblos, but when people try to imply or suggest their superiority by looking down on my background and calling me a mere hood rat, I say, thank you. And then I  begin to lick my chops, because I know their presumptuous condescension is coming next, and then that very “hood rat” mentality that they intend to denigrate is gonna kick in and drag their silly asses through the mud.
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You see, I’m not simply gonna sit back and allow a bigot to imply that he’s superior to me. The very background that he’s trying to look down upon is going to challenge him to prove that he’s superior, and I've made it a point my entire life to see to it that very few will be able to accomplish that - in fact, none of them have, because what they failed to realize is knowledge is free, so it's just as easily obtained in Watts as it is in Beverly Hills.

So what do I get out of this game?  I get a deep sense of satisfaction, and the opportunity  to educate the world, one bigot at a time, to the fact that they've created a monster; that the adversity that they've forced Black people to endure every day of our lives have cause us to develop an intellectual muscularity that they'll never be able to match. And there’s no satisfaction in the world more gratifying than looking into the eyes of a presumptuous bigot once he begins to recognize that he’s intellectually inferior to a “coon.” He begins to panic as he feels his delusions of grandeur begin to slip away, because  his entire sense of self-esteem is based upon the assumption that just being born White makes him special. So by busting that bubble, the impact on him is worse than if you stabbed him - and the best thing about it is, you don’t have to go to jail for it, and the idiot has to live with the wound forever. That’s why conservative bigots hate Barack Obama so intensely, because it’s clear that he has much more class, more intellect, and much more competence than they do, causing them to undergo a public, and transparent attack of cognitive dissonance. 
 .
So yes, I love bragging about being a hood rat, because hood rat means something different to me than it does to most people. It means Bird, it means Miles, Trane, Dexter Gordon, Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, Ella, Sarah, and Barack Obama. Because the hood is not just a place, it's a state of mind. Thus, being a credentialed hood rat means that you’ve obtained a PhD in adversity and managed to survive. In turn, that means that you’re in possession of a source of knowledge that can’t be obtained at any university or place of higher learning anywhere in the world.  So that kind of knowledge shouldn’t be looked upon with shame. It should be developed, and embraced with an air of distinction, a sense of accomplishment, and with great honor. 
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When I first met my woman she used to hate my bragging about being a hood rat. Then one night I sat down and wrote her the poem below to lay out my credentials. Now she loves it when I embrace who I am . . . The Hood Rat.
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Baby,

I’m sure you know that I love you.
You’re everything I need.
You fit the bill of all my desires,
a perfect match for all of my dreams.
From the moment I first laid eyes on you,
You were everything I craved -
that luscious vision
from across the tracks,
that delicate flower
beyond my blade.
*
But what you ask is foreign to me.
You need something that I’m not.
You said, just tweak my nature a little bit,
and you’ll give everything you’ve got.
*
But that "tweak" you need is who I am -
it’s my essence, can’t you see?
So how can you speak of loving my soul,
while denying the hood rat that makes me, me?
*
While "hood rat" may seem trite to you,
it’s the very essence of my being.
So forget about what other’s say,
here’s what it means to me:
*
I’ve been brutally dragged through the pits of hell,
yet, managed to survive,
well educated, and fully functional,
when I came out the other side.
I scrounged the lessons taught at Harvard -
because knowledge, I found, was free.
But they’ll never obtain the lessons I’ve learned -
or grasp my knowledge of adversity.
*
While the "elite" may have heard a mournful Trane,
or Miles muted on a Summer night,
not in the context of hunger and pain,
or hopelessness, hatred, and blight.
*
So while I've lived the life of a hood rat,
I’ve reaped a knowledge that money can't buy;
a knowledge passed on to my son and daughter,
which has greatly enhanced their lives.
*
So I wouldn't change a thing about my life -
I’ve faced hell and passed the test.
I have a PhD in adversity, and
it's made me much more,
rather than less.
*
So unlike the people at Harvard and Yale,
who try to buy intellectual clout,
they only listen to the genius of Miles and Trane,
while I'm who they’re playin' about.
*
So when snobs try to slur me as "just a hood rat,"
I say, "thank you," and don’t take offense.
I take great pride in surviving the pits of Hell -
That’s what gives me my confidence.
*
The Ivy League degrees of those of means
are only paper compared to mine;
they merely have a "receipt" for knowledge and learning,
while my knowledge is ETCHED within my mind.
*
I can TEACH philosophy to Aristotle and Plato
with the adversity that I’ve endured,
and any snob who seeks to match my wit,
will come up short, and that’s for sure.
*
Snobs walk about quoting Socrates and such,
due to their "education" they are prone;
but while they’re spewing the thoughts of various dead men,
I spend my time developing my own.
*
We should never give the thoughts of ANY man,
priority over our own;
collect the facts and think for yourself, that’s where
Harvard and Yale has gone wrong.
*
Thus, being seen as a hood rat has its advantages -
especially against racists of limited wit;
I simply quietly wait for their condescension,
then show ‘em that they ain’t shit.
*
God made birds to fly and fish to swim,
but man to think, and that's the key.
So any man who claims to be my superior
will have to PROVE he can out-think me.
*
Thus, knowledge is the key to set us free -
it doesn’t matter what the people say,
and there’s nothing more formidable than
a knowledgeable hood rat, and
that’s what you’re looking upon today.
*
Yet, these are the things you want me to purge -
you want me to spurn the life I’ve led.
Well, I’m sorry, my love,
as much as I adore you,
the soul of a hood rat is my edge.
*
Wattree
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Remember, street knowledge is exactly what Obama is using to drag the entire Republican Party through the mud. That's why they hate him so. They can't figure out what’s up with him. Have you noticed that he never argues with them? Regardless to what they say, he just smiles, like he's dealing with children. Watch him deal with Trump in the video below - and this is on the very same night that he got Osama Bin Laden using three helicopters, after Bush had spent trillions of dollars trying to get him. They didn't know it yet, but that's what he meant in the video by "What a week!" If Bush had gotten Osama Bin Laden, the Republicans would not only have still been bragging about it, but Bush’s image would be nearly completed on My Rushmore by now. But what did Obama do? He simply did what he was mandated to do, and then walked away.
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America is gonna to miss that man when he’s gone, and it’s gonna be hard to find another like him, because he didn’t get that kind of character and class from Harvard. He got it from having to survive the adversity of the Black experience.

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Eric L. Wattree
http://wattree.blogspot.com/
Ewattree@Gmail.com
Citizens Against Reckless Middle-Class Abuse (CARMA)
.
Religious bigotry: It's not that I hate everyone who doesn't look, think, and act like me - it's just that God does.

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