Thursday, August 04, 2011

Happy 50th Birthday, Mr. President

Beneath the Spin * Eric L. Wattree

Happy 50th Birthday, Mr. President
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Happy Birthday, Mr. President,
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But I’ve got to be honest, you have me about as hot as fish grease right now. I simply cannot figure out what's going on in your head. You go out and give these rousing, voice-quivering speeches that renew my confidence in the fact that you're finally going to go back and confront the GOP, then you get back to the Oval Office and seem to curl up in the fetal position, letting the Republican Party not only roll all over you, but us. What's up with that?
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I think your heart is in the right place, but I've come to the conclusion that you're suffering from the effects of a coping mechanism that you've developed over the years. I believe that as a result of living all over the world and having to deal with being an outsider all your life, you've developed a go-along-to-get-along style of dealing with adversity. That's obviously worked for you in the past, after all, you're President of the United States, but that's not what the people voted for, so it's time to reassess your strategy.
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While the American people liked Mr. Rogers - just as they do you - they didn't want him as president. The American people want John Wayne. That's the only reason Reagan was elected - and still glorified - in spite of his gross incompetence and corruption in office. The Republicans recognize that fact - that's why Bush and Cheney walked around in cowboy boots. Republicans know that the American people expect their president to be strong and resolute, even if he's ignorant. So I don't know who's guiding your strategy, but if they're telling you that the people are going to put up with a president running around Washington asking, "Can we all get along?" They're dead wrong.
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So you need to step up to the plate, my man, and let some of the hood come out in you. Because if I'm not seriously mistaken - and I don't think I am - that's exactly what the American people voted for. They figured that at this point in our history that's exactly what we need - an intelligent man with the backbone of a hood rat. And you know what? They were right. The GOP leadership represents nothing less than America's domestic enemy, and they should be dealt with as such.
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So at this point, we don't need a diplomat; we need a warrior with the survival instincts of a hood rat. Some people tend to see that as a pejoritive phrase, but I don't.  I see a lot to be admired about a person who can survive being dragged through the pits of Hell. John Wayne built a career on portraying exactly that kind of person - a White hood rat.
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For that reason, I think you're going to find that your rousing oratory just may backfire on you in the coming campaign. This time, if the rest of the electorate are anything like me, instead of your quivering voice evoking moist eyes of inspiration like it did during the last campaign, it's only going to serve to provoke anger this time, because it's going to remind the people of how badly they were bamboozled in the last election. But they're going to stand by you, because they know their only choice is either standing by you, or having to endure a fascist America.
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So while I'm mad as a wet hen, I plan on sticking by you and pushing for your growth as well. That's the nature of the progressive mindset. We believe in independent thought, so unlike the GOP, we don't insist on everyone marching in lock step. We understand that since no one corners the market on either knowledge, wisdom, or intelligence, we must rely on our combined intellectual resources to move forward. We're also firm believers in the kind of vigorous, and sometimes angry, debate that's currently taking place among progressives today.
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We understand the importance of keeping in mind the difference between efficient thinkers and ideologues: Efficient thinkers always give truth priority over ideology, while ideologues always give ideology priority over truth. So I'm with you until the end, come hell or highwater, but I intend use my column to give you pure hell every step of the way, and I intend to squeeze everything I can out of you during the coming campaign. You see, you still have the potential to become a great president, but sometimes you have to drag great men up Mt. Rushmore kickin' and screamin'.
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Another reason I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt is because you managed to get Michelle, so you must have something going for you.
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A good friend of mine would call that last remark a “slapliment.” But we can fight later - and fight we will. Until then, however, again, I'd like to wish you a very Happy Birthday.

Remember the dream


Eric L. Wattree
http://wattree.blogspot.com/
Ewattree@Gmail.com
Citizens Against Reckless Middle-Class Abuse (CARMA)
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Religious bigotry: It's not that I hate everyone who doesn't look, think, and act like me - it's just that God does.

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